Ocean Blue
by kakashikrazy256
Summary: Pretending to be a guy for more than a decade is tough. But being yourself is even harder. After all these years of pretending to be a male, when someone finds out, what is she supposed to do? FemKaito.


**Hi there, old and new readers. :) I don't know why this plot just popped into my head. I guess it's because I have seen a few gender bender fics and pictures around and there are many FemaleShinichi stories but rarely any about a FemaleKaito. So this is my version about what a female Kaito would be like. I have seen several names for her (Kaiyo is a popular one so it seems) I chose my own name and I hope it is satisfactory. This first chapter will be written from her point of view and is basically an introduction but the rest might be written from narrator view. **

**Do enjoy and hopefully give your feedback at the end. **

It was a quiet day in classroom 2-B. The class was more bored than usual, most falling asleep or doing other random things that had nothing to do with the classical literature lecture being taught by their boring teacher.

And the reason for this boredom was one Kuroba Kaito, who was sitting at his desk, staring out the window. No pranks, not tricks in sight.

Wait, scratch that. No, it shouldn't be his, it should be her.

….Is anyone confused at this point?

…Guess there's no helping it, I will have to explain.

Well, hey there I am who you and the rest of the world know as 'Kuroba Kaito'. Except I am not Kuroba Kaito.

The bell rings and the whole class simultaneously let out a sigh of relief. The dreaded last period class was finally over.

I get up and stuff all my books carelessly into my bag.

"Kaito~" I turn to face Nakamori Aoko.

"Ahouko~ what's up?" I smile and my disguised voice comes out naturally.

She scowls and begins to question me about my plans for the rest of the day. I decline her attempts to start any afterschool plans with me because I am not in the mood for it.

I leave her with Mr. British Gentleman Hakuba and left the school premises with a sigh.

Oh yeah, I never got to finish. I am not Kuroba Kaito. After all, I am not a guy.

My actual name is Kuroba Kairi, DAUGHTER of the great magician Kuroba Toichi.

That's what I keep reminding myself of every single day. After all, it's been nearly ten years since I have last went out in public as my actual gender.

I ask myself in my mind, why am I disguised as a male in the first place?

It's to protect myself. I answer the question. Of course it was, dad had said so.

It was when I turned five. That day we first moved to Ekoda, the day I moved to the house I currently live in.

It was when we unloaded the first few boxes of stuff. Dad took me aside while mom was chatting with the real estate woman. He told me we were going to play a game.

_"Kairi, we are going to play a game. Think you can beat me at this one?"_ He smirked. Having been beat every single time we played a game, I pouted and puffed out my chest.

_"Of course I can! I will definitely beat you on this one!"_

_"Good!"_ He smiled and ruffled my hair; it had been short and spiky back then.

_"Kairi, we are going to play a game of acting." _His smile is strained.

_"Hehh, what kind of acting?"_

_"You are going to have to pretend to be a boy. Can you do that?"_

_"…A boy?"_

_"Yes, a boy. But no one but mommy and daddy can know okay? If someone else finds out then you will lose and I will win!"_ He smirks again and I quickly nod.

I didn't understand why back then and I did as dad told. But what I thought was a game ended up being much longer than I thought. I enrolled into elementary school as a boy. I met Aoko while dressed up as Kuroba Kaito.

I didn't understand why dad started this game. I asked him several times when will it end and he said that it will be soon.

But that day never came.

Even after he…died, I never took the disguise off. Just because he wasn't here anymore doesn't mean I win by default. He never told me to stop the charade.

And I haven't, for almost thirteen years of my life.

I turned down the block and walk to my house. In a few moments I am inside and sprawled across the sofa lazily.

With one hand, I reach up to my head and pull the elastic band and hair clip out. My hair falls softly over my shoulders and down until it reached my waist.

I had never cut my hair.

It was stupid and risky, with such long hair my male hairstyle could easily fall apart but I still never attempted to walk into a hair salon.

Why?

It's because dad had told me a long time ago.

He said my hair was beautiful and very cute when I let it down.

I haven't cut my hair since that day.

It was a pain to fix that much hair into a male hairstyle but when I was little, dad taught me an amazing way to tie up long hair to look much shorter than it actually is.

It took a long time to master, but now I can take my waist long hair and tie it into the spiky hair Kuroba Kaito is known for with ease.

I chuckle to myself. Kuroba Kaito has such spiky hair, but in reality my hair is straight and flowing. It used to be spiky but it had flattened down considerably since I entered intermediate school. Now, I have to comb through my hair furiously in the morning each day in order for it to stick up in all directions.

I sigh again and throw off the male uniform with haste. This was unusual; usually the only time I would take off the mask of Kuroba Kaito was in the shower. It was too risky anywhere else. You never know when Aoko would just randomly drop by. It was safer to be Kuroba Kaito all the time.

Aoko…I could tell she loves me. It is a bit disturbing in some ways. I have never felt any sort of love for her besides seeing her as a little sister. But she has only known me as Kuroba Kaito. She has met me once as Kairi by accident. So I had to pretend to be 'Kaito's cousin' the entire day while she was with me. I never saw her again as Kairi.

I don't know how to break the news to her without telling her that I'm a female. I could say I like guys. Since it was technically true, but would she see me as 'homosexual' and distance herself? I don't want 'Kaito' be known as gay since it wasn't true. This was certainly a complicated matter. But I will have to solve this eventually.

There's also the thing with Akako. The girl is obsessed with me and is literally going insane trying to figure out why she can't make me into her slave. I wonder how I'm going to break the news to her that it's because I'm not into girls?

My mother knows obviously. What kind of mother wouldn't question why her daughter suddenly became her son? She didn't ask why I did it though. I had a feeling she was in on the plan with dad.

But now that I have entered high school, she is constantly bugging me about acting like a girl for once. Every time she talks with me it is through video calls. Usually teasing from her and annoyed remarks from me. I have to agree that I am more boyish than the average girl but I have been pretending to be a boy for more than a decade so I have my excuses. Apparently my chest is rather undeveloped for a girl my age. I see this as a blessing, since it means no binding chest. But to my mother, it is the perfect form of teasing.

She would find her way to insert her jokes during every video chat. Things like 'is the board still flat?' or 'has the dough risen yet?' These calls usually end with me hanging up in embarrassment and her giggling on the floor. When I tease Aoko about her flat chest, I would silently say to myself _'You shouldn't really be talking.'_

I wonder how long I need to keep this mask on. In the tape dad left for me, he told me his reasons. When I was five Snake had attempted to come kill me.

I guess I was too little to remember or he never got his chance to get close enough.

Dad was afraid that he would come back to attempt killing me again so he had faked my death and replaced me with the secret persona of Kuroba Kaito, his son. Snake and his cronies must've heard that Kairi had died and never thought to check again. They never found out about Kuroba Kaito. Maybe that's why when the Kaitou Kid revived, they never thought to check if it was one of Toichi's descendants. For all they knew, Toichi's only child had died, falling down a cliff during a hike.

So I had made up my mind. Kairi will appear once again after Snake and the other bastards are taken down. When I find Pandora and smash it, I will finally be able to be myself again.

Being a guy isn't easy. I think Hakuba is starting to get suspicious. Every time during PE, I would disappear and reappear again after I had changed in a secret place. He tried to follow me once but I dyed his hair pink with orange streaks and he stopped trying.

Another issue was going to the bathroom. Even after more than ten years of doing it, I still can't get the uncomfortable feeling of going to the men's bathroom to go away. But I learnt to deal with it by going only at home or when there was no one else in the bathroom.

That time of the month is also a pain to deal with. That was when poker face was really put up to the test, with mood swings flying crazily through my head, trying not to turn those few days of the month into a pranking nightmare for the school was hell. Having 'the talk' given to you while in the guise of Kuroba Kaito via video chat with your mother wasn't exactly comfortable.

Other than my mother trying to convince me to act like a girl, Jii-chan had been doing it lately too. Every time before a heist, he would come over and preach me about acting more like a young lady. 'It is indecent to go around flirting with other girls, ojou-sama!' I mocked scolded in his voice with a snicker. I made him stop calling me ojou-sama, choosing instead to be called botchama. However the guy will still slip up now and then.

Ah, Kaitou Kid. That job was also a pain. Not actually being a guy is hard when I pull my stunts. I am athletic but in reality, I am still female. After every heist, I would be sore for weeks. I'm learning to deal with it though. The last thing I would want is for Kaitou Kid to be revealed as a girl.

But sometimes I wonder, is it harder to be Kuroba Kaito or Kuroba Kairi? As time goes by, I am rarely not in disguise. When I walk by other girls, their conversations don't interest me anymore. It is becoming easier and easier to fit in with the guys. I think back and wonder about Spider. When he caught me in that illusion, I was still in the guise of a male. But illusions are suppose to dig deep into you and show you at your truest form. Yet the illusion showed me as a male not female...do I really consider myself as a male more than female? Is Kaito really just a persona…

I blink and look up at the clock. 20:37(8:37pm) Great, I spent more than three hours brooding over my life. I took a deep breath and got off the couch, stretching out my stiffen muscles. I need to finish homework, study for exams and cook a cup of ramen. I reach my room and sit down at my desk, fingering a locket that is usually hidden well in my drawer. Wouldn't want a nosy Aoko to find it when she visits. I click it open and it showed me a picture of my dad and I grinning at the camera. Me as a girl.

I smile and shut the locket.

I'm Kuroba Kairi and I will not lose this game.

**That was bloody damn hard to right haha. I haven't written in first person since like ever. It was weird so if any part of this chapter sounded weird, please forgive me and tell me so I can improve on it. I am also wondering, when I write the next chapter, would you like me to address Kairi as 'her' or 'he'? It would get confusing if I kept switching around but it seems weird to address Kairi as a she when she is Kaito and vice versa. **

**Please review, your feedback is always appreciated and pairings please: Hakuba or Shinichi/Conan. This story's title is called Ocean Blue because Kairi means sea or ocean village.**


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